Truly Outrageous

Drunk blogging: But seriously, I’m drunk

And I can’t spell. I’m sorry. There are some heavy things going on in the feminist blogosphere that I would like to adress… but basically I can’t right now. BFP and BlackAmazon, you are amazing, you are right to not put up with bullshit, but because I’m drunk I cannot say more at this time.

I was about to say some other shit but basically just go read those other ladies. I really cannot say a word right now except they are far more important bloggers than I am and you should probably be reading them instead.

Especially since it is taking every mental faculty right now I have just to spell. That is partly why they are more important. I apologize for being an asshole who doesn’t care about politics because my family is fucked up and I hate men with commitment problems and all those various problems that are comparably unimportant.

My friends James and Andy say hi to the blog world. Or ‘holla’ apparently. What can I say, I’m from the Philly suburbs. I’m embarrassing.

Can I just tell you that I hate dudes with a big long list of ‘scores’? And that this is totally insupportable considering certain personal attitudes? I just hate players. If I know you’re a player, you better work double time. I have to, so you have to. Oops I said that out loud. At least I’m still (mostly) spelling correctly.

It is freezing on the East Coast. That is seriously inherently obstructing my blogging progress. I would like to say things about relationships, and how 99% of them are full of shit, but how I know a few of the one percent that aren’t… and also some more about how marriage is 99% bullshit, but I know some of the… anyway, boring.

Drunkety drunkety drunk drunk drunk. Love, petitpoussin. Happy almost New Year’s folks.

National Drunk-and-Passing-Out Blogging Day

I hate weddings.  I hate them.  In fact, I’m pretty Grinchy on the idea of marriage altogether (no offense, I mean, some of my best friends are married).

So last night, when I discovered the open bar to be accessible during the wedding ceremony due to its unusual setting in a large museum gallery, I very enthusiastically took advantage of this thoughtful gesture on the part of bride and groom.  Then at dinner my favorite Rioja was the red wine on offer.  Add in copious champagne toasts and my choice to mainline alcohol, rather than guffaw, during the band’s rendition of ‘Just the Two of Us’ (how can anyone sing that song?!  Come on!  Fucking Mini-Me, people, that is the permanent association with that song), and… by the time I got home, this Grandma passed right out.

Apologies, friends.  Although really, half-coherent diatribes on the institution of marriage and wedding as consumer spectacle are probably not what the Drunk Blogger holiday required.  So I resolve, this evening, December 30, to try, try again.  In the meantime I will read some of my fellow alkies’ endeavors, to recommend to you later.

Happy National Hungover Blogging Day!  I’m gonna go hang out with my grandmother.  Yikes.

National Drunk Blogging Day: And So It Begins

I just want you all to know that one of my oldest friends (for past 18 years) gave me a ‘feminist chocolate bar’ from Antigone bookstore in Tucson, Arizona.  The wrapper features such chocolatey titles as ‘Our Bon Bons, Ourselves’ and ‘A Rumball of One’s Own’.  In other words, it’s probably the best chocolate in the history of time.

You should also know that shrimp toast includes an ingredient called yam beans.  This sounds suspiciously like ‘yameeeeeeeeeeeen?’  I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin.

I am in a room full of people talking to cats as if they were people.  This is why I like cat people.  They don’t do the scary baby/puppy voice thing.  Although last night through my friend Miso I met an extremely friendly dalmatian.

Today I watched Clueless again.  I can’t wait to say ‘I’m totally having a Twin Peaks experience’; or, also, ‘You don’t understand.  This is an Aliya’.  Oh, Alicia Silverstone.  After Batman & Robin  there was no helping you.

Drunk blogging will continue after I go to a fancy wedding later this evening and take advantage of the poshest open bar in the city of Philadelphia.  In the meantime you can find other participants here.