How functional on one cup of coffee?

December 11, 2006 at 9:42 am | In Blogroll, breaking news, inappropriate, navel, pop culture, rampant consumerism, the art of bullshit, timesuck |

This post is an homage to miso, whose blog is a neverending archaeological expedition into the hipster soul. And I mean that in a good way.

[Image source]

First things first: When I grow up, I want to be Penelope Cruz and wear gigantic earrings and gobs of eyeliner to bed. And wake up ‘impossibly fresh-looking’. First I have to pierce my ears, start wearing make-up and, I guess, turn into Penelope Cruz. In the meantime I’ll look at this photo.

Self, a question: How the hell did you write your dissertation a month before it was due last year? Who the hell are you? Chapter for __________ is already one day overdue and here you are procrastinating/decadentblogging. And you’ve only had one cup of coffee.

Self, another question: Why exactly did you spend all that money getting your hair done when you don’t even OWN A HAIR DRYER? Why do you own pink legwarmers in Hawaii? Why did you spend all that money getting your hair done when you haven’t bought any Christmas presents yet?

and of course this leads me down a long corridor with framed paintings of other questions, in the style of Roy Lichtenstein. why did you spend all that money on ______? in the end, did it really convince either of you that he was a good person who deserved it? are you really willing to spend all that money to go and visit ______? when it could be, as usual, not what you think? I’m wearing a turquoise tank top under my t-shirt as an ‘accent’. it’s a habit I picked up in London, wearing bright colors to counteract the grey. yesterday I actually listened to an entire Counting Crows album and wasn’t embarrassed. also apparently I missed the memo on Death Cab, which luckily doesn’t apply to Postal Service.

What the hell is wrong with Rosie O’Donnell.

We are all blog whores.

Vegan ghee: it’s real.

You made your point, but ‘Happy Together’ is still a symbol of my personal freedom and individuality.

conversation last night: -what’s your favorite part of the song? -ummm -mine’s when he says ‘I’m in the zone’. or when he uses ’safe-sexin’ as a verb.

2 Comments »

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haha. safe sexin. i’m really flattered that you referred to me, as i am when anyone acknowledges my existence in a way i don’t find disgusting, which is cool. anywho - counting crows? death cab? my mind is reeling!

also i hate penelope cruz and all that she stands for. sorry almodovar, i just hate her. and not cus she’s not flatchested. or maybe.

also it makes me feel really rilly good that you procrastinate too, because i personally hold you in esteem as a smawt person, like a really smart person - now i’m blabbing. it just goes to show that smart people can be losers too. slash you’re so gonna get everything done.

ok, so i get bashed for mentioning legwarmers in a comment a month ago and now you’re posting on your wearing of them?! pink, no less! I’m incensed! Whatever, what brand are yours? Mine’s Danskin.

Yeah that whol writing your dissertaion a month before it was due is just saying you’re a bloody genius. tell me what grade you got and then i’ll believe that you’re a pathetic procrastinor. till then I don’t believe you.

but i feel very sorry that you’ve only had one cup of coffee.

i’ve taken procrastination to new, incredible, high heights –>(sorry, i am about to blogwhore, which i never do btw, except i feel a kinship ought to be made between these posts, slash i’m crazy) http://theohzone.org/2006/12/12/how-to-make/

now i’m listening to strawberry switchblade.

Comment by theohzone — December 11, 2006 #
I forgot that you had moved.
Coming back often!

Comment by Aireanne — December 12, 2006 #