Because rootie mentioned pro-wrestling…

January 4, 2007 at 1:24 pm | Posted in assholes, Blogroll, teh funny | Leave a comment

Via Bookslut:

Christopher Hitchens as 1980s Professional Wrestler

Now. If you’ve all been listening you’ve just heard the boasts of one Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake and how he so eloquently details how I will be “crushed.” Up until now, I have resisted all urges to assume the mantle of generalship and to describe how I personally will fight him, but I can no longer hold my anger back. There are a number of reasons for this. First, he makes the claim that he will be cutting my hair at the end of the match as some form of ritualistic dominance. Not so. Instead I portend a future outcome where I, the more magnanimous of soothsayers in this arena tonight, will instead take it upon myself to appropriate his time and countenance by rambling on, thus draining his will and his perspicacity. Then, maybe through the use of a full nelson or flying-elbow bone-crusher, I will accomplish the feat I came here to do with time to spare.

But wait, there’s more!