Truly Outrageous

Gosh, it’s hard to be so funny. I’m serious! It’s difficult. That’s why you should go read Hobocamp, which is actually funny. It’s like a highbrow beach-read, and if you know how I feel about the beach you know that’s a compliment.

In a few short days I’ll be hauling myself and all my worldly possessions (minus a few boxes) onto a plane to Philadelphia. A couple weeks after that, I’ll go to Pittsburgh. Then San Francisco. Then Orange County, ’cause I’m gonna live there. I’ve got a brand-spanking-new Hawaii drivers’ license (complete with rainbow!), I’ve got a job on the horizon, and I’ve got a lot of packing to do. Here’s what some other folks got:

BFP’s talking about sex and women of color.

I’m in my 30’s and I’ll admit, I’m still confused about a lot of this stuff. I can’t find the post where Kactus said it, but it was a relief to read when she said that she was sex positive and queer and all that stuff, but sex itself just wore her out and she had no real idea why, it just did. I don’t feel quite like that, but it was a relief to hear it. So often in feminist circles, feeling ambiguous about sex or disliking it outright naturally leads people to think, you’ve been brutalized once too often. A real enough truth. But even those of us who have been raped/molested for years find ways to have sex again. And some times, not wanting to have sex isn’t really about our history as sexual abuse survivors. Sometimes, it’s because having a baby just ripped the hell out of your vagina, making it a whole new vagina that you have no idea what to do with. Sometimes it’s because you’ve gained fifty pounds and feel undesirable. Sometimes its because you’re lesbian living in a heterosexual relationship (yes, my sex positive friends, that still happens). And some times, there really is just no reason that can be put into words or tagged down. It’s just there. But the bottom line is, we as feminists of color, really aren’t talking about any of this.

The discussion continues in comments.

Two great posts from Our Bodies Our Blog recently: one with more on Amnesty’s campaign to confront violence against indigenous women; and one on the history of vibrators.

More sex over at Racialicious: Race Preference or Race Fetish? Lots of conversation on that post too, mainly because of one section in particular:

One of my close friends tends to date white women, though he maintains he dates the rainbow. When I ask him about the reasons for his attraction, he goes into different factors of why he is attracted to the women he dates. He lists things like body type, hair, and complexion. I prodded him playfully about one of his recently revealed fetishes – the fact that he, a black male, wants to have a white woman tie him up and treat him like a slave.

He asked one of his former sex partners to do it, and she didn’t speak to him for a week.

He acted puzzled.

“I just asked her to beat me a few times and call me Toby.”

I asked him if his desire for that particular sex act has caused him in recent years to narrow his focus in dating, pointing out that he has not dated anyone of color since freshman year of college.

He contemplates that for a moment.

“Maybe,” he finally answers.

Ummm…. damn. I’m of the opinion that the bedroom is the a totally safe, healthy place to play out/vocalize the ways we internalize oppression. But that is intense!

While we’re on the subject of ‘damn’, Nezua pulls out the snark on Coldplay soaking up some ‘Hispanic’ flavor… from Brian Eno? Brian Peter George St. John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno (I swear to John le Baptiste)?! That’s cool, because I just learned to speak in fluent pidgin from the dancing Hawaiian dashboard dude my boss gave me for my going-away present.

More pop culture, in which all things lead to Captain Picard: T-Pain is the Borg. The Field Negro hearts Star Trek. I have had a crush on Wil Wheaton for seventeen years; his blog helps to keep the love alive. Here’s an awesome video for TNG freaks (I’m not joking you need to watch it immediately).

Okay, back once the jetlag clears… for now, aloha!